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Yeah, something frustrating today again.

Bad news for me:

I feel like my birthday is ruined. Well, Yesterday was okay, I got a T-shirt and my parents are going to buy me a bigger bookshelf (Yet again the Bookshelf is full...), but: One person can't come to the weekend party and the other one doesn't want to come (The girl whom I had a fight with). The second one isn't as bad, it's her own fault.. But number one! Man I was so happy that he wanted to come, and then he told me he can't make it. I was so damn sad, you wouldn't believe it. Now he told me he's coming tuesday, or at least, that he wants to come over on tuesday.. But I don't want to believe it! I don't want to be disappointed again, so I will just not believe it until  he is either standing right in front of my nose or not.. So then I won't be so disappointed if he can't show up again...

Right now, I'm not in the mood to party at all, to be honest. This situation with my friend (right now, I don't even know if I should call her that) is going on my nerves. Our "dear" Miss came over yesterday, and after that we went to a friends house. Well, she does not like that person, but she still came along (It's not like anyone has forced her to!). Next thing you know, she rolls her eyes. Why? Because she thinks she's such a smart little girl that she thinks she knows everything of the world. She even told me she thinks she knows more about life then me. Well, that's her opinion. But then she shouldn't wonder, why I don't like talking to her about things that I go through or what happens in my life. I don't need people who don't know me really good and then judge that they know more, or that they are stronger, or that they made more negative experiences than I have, or even good ones. You know, it's a difference to say that if you know somebody. If you don't know someone that good, you shouldn't say crap like that. And she knows that if she keeps it up, she someday will lose everything, since she's like that to every freaking person she meets.

I guess I still won't disappoint my sister and make a party at her house, like it or not. I'll just watch stupid movies and try not to think about him and that I won't get to see him. Stupid movies are good enough if you don't want to think about something. It's like your head is empty and I feel like I need that.  

 So much for my birthday, hm? And I ask myself, why me? The last year was bad enough, most people knew it, and I still think that it's going upwards again. But why do people always put stones in the way? I know it's never easy, it just can't always be easy, but why not sometimes. Why never just sometimes?

13.6.08 10:46

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